Connection Breakdown…

In our lives, aided by technology, information is shared in a heartbeat and judgment is rife. Labels are attached, assumptions are made and division and discord are created. We are all witnessing this unfolding on the world stage and closer to home.

It may be naive to ask that we care for each other and flow with kindness wherever we can, but never have we needed it more than now.

My way is to see a ‘micro’ event and then step back to see how this is playing out through the collective on a global scale. I sense and feel a loss of kindness and respect for each other and a ducking of personal responsibility that is breathtaking, especially by those in positions of power.

In my circle, I am witnessing a loving soul’s character get intentionally shredded through a series of lies and unnecessary drama. It is hard to know how to handle the onslaught and aim for a loving resolution.

All any of us ask for in a connection with another, be it romantic, work and business-related, familial, friendship, neighbours and community, is to be seen and respected for who we are. Kindness is the energy that nurtures.

There are many reasons for the breakdown of established connections and these come under four categories: contempt, indifference, neglect and violence.

Contempt is the ultimate killer. To not show care in how we treat another and dismiss what matters to them, their opinions and choices, are all about showing contempt. To give someone the feeling they have no value.

Indifference is self-serving. Continually putting what matters to us above what matters to someone else is downgrading and undermines someone else. It is a drip-fed message of the other person not being important in any way.

Neglect is unkind and is about flowing little attention or respect to someone else.

Violence is not always about direct aggression. Micro-violence can be eye-rolling and sneering when someone else is talking and even turning our backs when they are asking to be heard or needing to be seen. Putting someone down publically or criticising them constantly is also linked to micro-violence.

Every one of these links back to unkindness and these ways of behaving can be even more prevalent in romantic relationships. The behaviour is carried out mainly behind closed doors because if the aggressor behaved like this at work or with anyone else publically, there would be immediate consequences. When a joint household and possibly children are in the mix, it can stay hidden.

Any individual can deliberately lie and point the finger of blame at another and this is an easy way to avoid taking responsibility. It’s hard to own our own stuff, but projecting on to someone else helps no one.

In the last few years, we are witnessing things globally become unhidden and I feel that change is going to come from the grassroots level and it starts with how we treat each other and taking personal responsibility.

Creating drama invites trouble in and it is bound to accept, whereas kindness spreads love.

57 thoughts on “Connection Breakdown…”

  1. petespringerauthor

    Unnecessary drama can be caused by a person’s own mistakes but what is especially difficult is watching someone’s life fall apart based on circumstances out of their control. Your positive nature always shines through, Jane. I wish anyone going through a situation such as this to find peace of mind.

  2. My advice is to walk away rom that person. Your words are so true, Jane and we are all experiencing a world gone sour. Governments no longer serve and people no longer care. Blessings to you.

  3. There will never be too much love in the World because there will never be enough. Whatever the reason, may it be jealousy or something equally contemptible or destructive, there will always be those who take pleasure in the fall of others especially if it has a physical benefit for themselves. Politicians often feature in this group. Unfortunately all too often these characteristics are formed in childhood when jealousy is easily formed. Sometimes the whispering campaign will not work because the child whispered against is popular and loved but also sometimes it will work because some people delight in hearing the worst.. Very often lazy minds allow this to happen without checking facts. Lazy minds are always ready to hate. Check out pre WWII Germany and America now. Once this happens a noisy minority drown out the quietter majority.. When the insidious lies start everyone needs to question the sourse of the lies as well as the likelihood of them being true, but facts must always be sought to hopefully stop the liar from being able to start whisper campaigns again.
    Huge Hugs

    1. David, your comment is thoughtful and insightful. Thank you. For those who care, facts will be sought and also, a good adage is to speak as we each find. If something feels off then it is usually sourced in destructive energy. Stepping away and flowing with love, nurtures.

      Much love to you with huge hugs, always. <3 xXx

  4. I agree that kindness can get the world back to where it should be, not necessarily one where we all agree with each other, but at least we have respect for each other…

  5. Here in the US the previous administration let all of the haters out of the closet. What many don’t realize is they were always there, just hidden … dealing with their dark programming will be difficult unless kindness understands what made them

  6. You speak the truth, Jane. I couldn’t agree with you more, and it’s hard to understand why kindness doesn’t outshine hate and violence, which takes more energy. It’s exhausting both physically and mentally, so why not accept each other for who we are? I’m afraid the future is uncertain; the world seems to be more distressed than in past decades (my p.o.v.), but I want to believe things can and will get better. I hope things smooth out in your circle. Sending love and hugs, dear friend. xoxo

  7. We live in the type of society described by that social scientist Toffler where people are only interested in themselves in general. He describes interaction as the “hurry up handshake and move on.” We need to stand out as different to his description to bring love and compassion back into society.

  8. This post was spot on my UB. You hit all the nails in this post. It’s like an unveiling of humanity we are seeing with eyes wide opening. There is a lot of ugliness in the world, and it’s a very sad thing. I’m with you, only love can conquer the darkness and Karma will take care of the rest as she witnesses the unfoldings. Brilliant post Jane. Hugs flying to you. xooxo <3

    1. Thank you, my lovely UB. As I commented to gfs, nature says that hurt needs fresh air to heal, so the hidden must become unhidden for healing to start. Huge hugs and much love flowing to you, xXx <3 Xxx <3

      1. Oh how I believe that. That’s what I need, more outside. Guess I’ll have to wait til I get there to the UK! Woohoo my UB! <3 xoxoxo <3

  9. It’s only through living – ie, over the years – that I’ve learned to appreciate my intuitiveness and back away from those with bad energy – and bad vibes. I feel sorry for those who are so broken that they feel a need to try and break others, including through malicious lies. I like your description of micro-violence too. Those things can cause a world of pain and harm. I’ve figured out, finally, that I can’t un-break these kinds of people. Instead, I step away and spread my own light of love, of kindness, and hope this can make a difference in the world. You, Jane, do this in spades. <3

    1. Pam, your insight and empathy are like a breath of fresh air. I too have learnt that you can’t un-break someone, no matter how much love and care you pour into them. It’s a hard lesson to learn and wonderfully liberating when we do. Much love flowing to you, always. <3 xXx

  10. Your words are sadly so true Jane…The closet doors are open wide for all to see and choose their sides…we can only continue to be kind, show respect and love others for their minor discretions…there but for the grace of God go I…if not then sadly we have to distance ourselves form the discord and lies but leave the door open slightly…I hope there is a positive outcome with your friend Hugs xx

    1. Yes, Carol, the unhidden is now in plain sight. Kindness is the way forward and there is grace in not responding and walking away. The outcome for my friend has been to walk away and the storm will run out of rain at some point. Wrapping you all and Lauren in much love. Lauren is in my healing prayers. <3 Xxx

  11. I don’t think any of us escape this shredding anymore, Jane, regardless of what “side” we’re on. Coccooning is one solution, but it doesn’t make things better. Kindness is the mantra for healing, reducing stress, and finding connection. A beautiful post and also a sad one, because it’s so necessary.

    1. You comment is full of grace, Diana and it’s lovely to hear from you. We’ll find our way through and yes, avoiding doesn’t help us. Pausing to rest when we need too is a kindness…here’s to more kindness. Much love flowing to you. <3 xXx

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