Love or fear

Love or fear?

Love flows as Dad has had carers going in to help for over a year now. Their work is loving and our family would have been under a great deal of strain without them. Some have become friends and one chap is naturally talented at carving and making things out of wood. He hasn’t been on Mum and Dad’s area rota for a while, so it was a delight to see him on Saturday when I was over there visiting. He brought two beautiful bowls he had carved out of Ash for Mum and me.

My Mum lovingly sent me home at the end of the day with all sorts of thoughtful things from her, so my bag was full. I unpacked it at home and there was a feather sitting in the middle of my bowl and no, it certainly was not there when I put it in my bag. Hello, spirit. <3

Here is the angel this kind soul carved as a home warming present and she sends her loving energy out from the windowsill in my new front room.

My Mum is a trouper and never complains. At nearly eighty-three, she heads out each week to run errands and do the shopping and their home is warm and cosy and yummy things flow from her kitchen. We flow back and forth through our days with messages and calls, as buddies, rather than mother and daughter. My heart feels the strain she is under and it cracked when she and Dad’s kind carer related a shared story.

When Mum bumped into him during a shopping trip last week, having not seen him for a few months, their delight was expressed through a hug. A lady passing by commented loudly that she was going to report them. Without skipping a beat, our loving soul took his phone out of his pocket and invited her to call the police. She walked away muttering.

Given our current times, each to their own, but this lady had no idea what was behind that hug and how much it was needed, just as we have no idea what was behind her comment.

I remember my Great Granny often saying ‘If you can’t be kind, then please be quiet’.

The different levels of control and restrictions we are all dealing with play into the fear that is rampant across our world. Fear begets fear so quickly, it reminds me of the fires sweeping across three states in the USA right now. If we lean into fear, I feel it leads to the judgment of others and makes it all too easy to express opinions that create more fear energy.

I had a thought a few months ago and have put it into action. It has yet to see a ‘spark’ to get it going, but I will keep flowing love into it. I have started a group on Facebook, locally based in Wallasey, called ‘Bartering with Kindness‘.

Its premise is simple; if you need something mended, serviced, fixed, maintained or you need help with anything, then ask and someone who is able to help can barter with something they need. Even if you don’t feel you have skills you can offer in return, maybe you can gift your time in helping with shopping, baking, weeding a flower bed, knitting or doing a basket of ironing. Anything that helps and supports each other and it gifts us all a chance to get creative in what we can do to flow kindness. No money is involved and we can barter our care and time with each other while observing whatever social distancing each of us is comfortable with.

I hold hope that it will foster kindness and trust in our community and it all springs from a well of love.

52 thoughts on “Love or fear?”

  1. It sounds like you have a wonderful relationship with your mother. And kudos on promoting kindness through sharing and bartering. And thanks for the reminders to watch my choices and motivations.

  2. petespringerauthor

    I belong to a Facebook group called Kindness Matters. Each month we are tasked with doing one specific task to be kind. How hard is that? Not difficult at all, and each month we feel good about some gesture of kindness. One of the challenges was to buy a cup of coffee anonymously for some random person, and then ask them to do the same. I went through the drive through at one of those coffee places (I never do that) and ordered a drink for me and the car behind me. I looked back in my rear view mirror and saw a friendly looking lady with a giant dog riding in the passenger seat. I wrote a card out and asked the barista to give it to her.

  3. A beautiful post, Jane. I loved the reaction your dad’s caregiver had when the woman threatened to report him. And your Facebook community idea is wonderful!!

    1. Mae, thank you so much for reading and leaving your lovely comment. I admired Dad’s caregiver’s grace, as I am not sure I would have been that composed. I will keep flowing loving energy into the group till it sparks. <3

  4. I am sure it provides great comfort knowing that your dad has such caring people taking care of him. And what a wonderful idea your bartering system is!

  5. I love the bartering community and the angel! Thank you for the encouragement not to lean in to fear. I can see that fear is often the underlying cause of belligerence, rudeness or judgment. I need to be careful about that, particularly with the political situation in the US. As far as restrictions, I’ve been hugging my adult children and granddaughter who don’t live with me, having decided the benefits outweigh the risks. I do tend to lean my head away when I hug them, though. I’m sending big hugs across the ocean to you and your family. Stay well!

    1. What a lovely comment, JoAnna. Thank you. Hugs are essential and yes, I am finding that I need to be mindful all the time not to dip into fear. Much love flowing to you all across our Pond. <3 Xxx

  6. a lovely lovely post with so many layers, Jane, and most of them loving… the angel and the bowl, such beautiful tokens of love…

    All the fear swirling around the world today… so sad that so few people have trust that all will be well, and that there is nothing to fear either on the other side, or here, if we can accept and surrender to all that is..

    I remember reading a book about the sinking of the Lusitania, and a woman who was thrown into the water in the explosion, floating in the sea, and feeling no fear just an immense love supporting and surrounding her…
    Her story always inspires me – much love to you and your loved ones Jane XXXXXXXX

    1. It is always lovely to hear from you, Valerie and thank you for your loving words. Yes, you put it beautifully on surrendering in trust that we are held in love and this too shall pass. Much love flowing to you both in your special forest and to your family. <3 Xxxxxxxx

    1. Yes, lovely Jill. She is in my heart whenever I pick up a book, sewing needle, crochet hook, wooden baking spoon, knitting needles and when I talk to my Mum. Much love flowing to you and yours, always. <3 xXx

  7. I love the post, and the beautiful angel Jane. I have so many angels all around my home. I find comfort knowing they’re around. And I wish people would learn kindess. We had old friends over for dinner 2 weeks ago, we hadn’t seen since last Christmas. We sat distanced around the dining table and when they first came in masked, we masked so we could all hug. The world without physical hugs is creating a lot of pain for a lot of people, causing people to react. Let us stay safe in our pink bubbles til we ride out the storms. Hugs <3 xxx

    1. Thank you for your lovely thought, my unicorn buddy and I share your bubble and kindness hopes. I love that you were able to have time with your special friends, especially sharing food. Nurturing love. Much love to you both, always and with sparklies. <3 <3 <3

  8. If there was more kindness around, the world would be a better place. Such a cliché, Jane, but I think your FB group is a wonderful idea. I also loved reading about you and your mom. And the angel is precious and so special. Lovely post, dear friend. xo

  9. I love your bartering group. In ancient times, before money, everything was done with bartering and it was an honor to give away more than you received because that meant you were rich enough to share and rich in favors when you needed one. Generosity was highly esteemed. But the real thing bartering did was keep a community interdependent. If created relationships in a way money couldn’t. I think your bartering group is AMAZING, Jane. Good work!

    1. Toni, you are so lovely. Diana, D Wallace Peach has researched bartering for one of her books and she thinks it originated from the Phoenicians or the Babylonians. I am going to research it too. I love the sparks that come from our supportive writing community. Much love to you. <3 xxxxx

  10. Not only was your post a deep breath of fresh and loving air, but the comments it inspired are also delightful and reassuring to read. I will aim to honor your grandmother’s wisdom: “I remember my Great Granny often saying ‘If you can’t be kind, then please be quiet.'” Thank you for sharing some loving kindness with the rest of us. And that bowl is BEAUTIFUL!!!

    1. Will, you are lovely. I rescued you from spam and WP keeps doing this. If we comment on a few blogs they automatically assume we are spamming. Such fun… Your comment is special and yes, my bowl is beside me as I work every day, holding crystals and the feather it arrived with. You would have loved my Great Granny and she would have loved your music and singing. <3

  11. Oh dearest Jane… this is such a profound post… One that touches the heart on so many levels…. Your granny words were right, if you cannot be kind be quiet…
    So many people now who seem to have lost that spark of caring and kindness.. Whose eyes are blinkered to another’s needs … And yes it goes two ways, we have no idea her own fear of that lady who wished to report your mum and care-giver… She may well be so fearful or has lost someone… We do not know…

    Loved your idea Jane and thank you for your recent news letter also.. Loved it… And the feather in the bowl.. just wonderful…. Showing Spirit are walking beside you Jane..

    Much love dear friend <3 <3 <3

    1. Yes, Sue, we never walk alone. Thank you for your kind words and thoughts and never have we needed kindness more. Huge love flowing to you both, always. <3 <3 xXx <3 <3

  12. Such a lovely post, Jane. Love, always love. Sending lots your way and a virtual hug – I’m so sorry to hear of your loss, and hope to see you back here again when you’re ready xx

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