Two Views ~ Friday 10 December 2021

Hello, we hope you have all had a good week? We read a thoughtful piece of writing from Thomas Merton this morning. He was a monk who lived from 1915 to 1968, and this is what he shared:

‘The rush and pressure of modern life are a form, perhaps the most common form, of contemporary violence. To allow oneself to be carried away by a multitude of conflicting concerns, to surrender to too many demands, to commit oneself to too many projects, to want to help everyone in everything, is to succumb to violence. The frenzy of our activity neutralizes our work for peace. It destroys our own inner capacity for peace. It destroys the fruitfulness of our own work because it kills the root of inner wisdom which makes work fruitful.’

Love to you all, Tim and Jane. X

My wife has decided to become a vegetarian and she wants me to be the same as her. I am a ‘meat man’ and love my bacon sarnies and Sunday roast. I loathe the veggie dishes that she is making but she says the smell of meat cooking makes her feel nauseous, so I can’t cook my own stuff. My insides aren’t happy with too many veggies either…sorry, that’s probably more information than you needed. I’m not happy, so can you suggest anything? KN, Southampton

Tim: She cannot force it upon you no matter how she phrases it. Your relationship may be at a crossroads if a compromise cannot be reached. If you proceed with pleasing her by trying the veggie diet, let your insides do the talking.

Jane: Hello KN, you are both individual and have your wishes and needs, and neither of you ought to be forcing the other into a corner. Any relationship needs compromise to flow with balance and in harmony. I have a feeling that this is a situation where you are both digging your heels in, and it feels like a pattern between you. Have there been other incidences of this? Any compromise calls for a gentle touch and listening to each other. Have you ever considered couples therapy, which could gift you both a different way of communicating and hearing each other? Hugs with love. X

I’m mid-forties and have the chance to make a career change. I have worked in computing on the hardware side since I left school and it doesn’t inspire me. To be honest, it hasn’t for some time now. I have been offered the chance to re-train into accountancy and want to do this on a self-employed basis. My thoughts are getting in the way, as I hover between getting excited about being qualified and having a little office on my local high street and seeing how many people are already doing this. I am afraid of leaping and falling flat on my face. SJ, Buckingham

Tim: If you don’t try you’ll regret it forever. Bite the bullet and go for it.

Jane: Hello SJ, it’s great that you know what you want to do and have found a vocation that speaks to you. Looking at the big picture is tipping you into overwhelm, which is where your fear feelings are springing from. The end goal of your practice is a grand one and it may be helpful to break the steps down, so you can focus on the next one you need to take. You can plan your training steps, your
apprenticeship within an existing accounting practice, networking to build up your client base. Maybe working in self-employed form from within an established firm. Even taking your accounting into a niche that they need covering. Be open about your long-term dreams and that way you can build up a mutually beneficial stream of work for you both. Another thing to ponder; it is natural to see how many people are already out there doing what you wish to do, but none of them will have your character and your style of accounting. You are you, SJ…hold onto that thought. Hugs with love. X

Please feel free to send your questions to and we wish you all a lovely week to come.

Tim & Jane. X

24 thoughts on “Two Views ~ Friday 10 December 2021”

  1. Wonderful advice again. It is so necessary to breaking achievements down into little steps. Otherwise it can be so overwhelming that the project ends before it started. And that is not because it was not meant to work but only because of the approach.

      1. Thank you for your lovely wishes, dear Jane. It will really be a cozy one when looking outside… haha. You both have a beautiful weekend too 💖

  2. petespringerauthor

    I especially like your advice to the person thinking about changing careers. The tricky part of this is sometimes changing careers may involve less income or higher expenses when one is getting trained. It is a bit of a leap of faith but worth the gamble if we’re unhappy.

  3. Great quote from Thomas Merton. Thanks. I think the vegetarian dispute is a lot more than just about veggies and meat. These two need counseling. As far as going not a new career. I’ve done it. You just close your eyes and do it. There is no other risk free way. You guys give good advice.

    1. Thank you, John. Thomas merton wrote in the first part of the last century and his words still chime today. Hats off to you for making a career change leap. Much love to you and your girls. <3 xXx

  4. these two questions were right up my alley, as a vegan and an accountant. seems like the new vegitarian needs to compromise a bit with not allowing her husband to cook meat. and who wouldn’t jump at the opportunity to be an accountant? 🙂

  5. It can be tough when one or the other of a couple has different diets, so I loved both answers. I also think that Merton piece of writing is quite fitting for today’s times. Hugs and love UB xoxoxo <3 xxx

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