It is the season of bonfires, fallen leaves and comforting food, as the temperatures drop in the Northern Hemisphere. There is nothing like a nutritious stew, dumplings and a fruit crumble to warm the cockles of your heart and fill your tummy. A season of simple pleasures and crisp, fresh air. Our postbag has been varied again this week and we highlight a few here and privately answer the rest. Love to you all. Tim & Jane. x
I have been dating RC for the last couple of months, but I have doubts. He can never admit he’s wrong and even when I suggest that he may be at fault, he somehow makes it appear as if I have not understood what happened. He also puts other people down and it makes me uncomfortable. Do you think we have a future? BV, London
Tim: No future. Move on.
Jane: Hello BV, my lovely the short answer is ‘No’. We all have a set of life values that we live by, and your life values are not matched to his. Anyone who cannot apologise, show humility, see different perspectives, and practice self-awareness gifts you warning signs about how they choose to live. The need to put other people down is also a warning sign on how he sees and treats others (including you). I try not to tell people what to do, as we all need to make our own decisions and live with the consequences of them. If you were my daughter my answer would be clear. ‘He has shown you exactly how he treats people. Put your trainers on, lace them up tight and run as far from him as you can.’ Hugs, X
I have a lovely life. My husband and children are healthy and happy, and we live in a great home and do not have any real worries. The last few years have been stressful with homeschooling and both of us trying to work from home, but things are easing now. The children are back at school and my husband is back working from his office. I don’t feel right though. I feel anxious all the time and it gets worse when I am tired, which is every day. I then feel guilty for feeling like this. I ought to feel grateful for my life and I do, I just feel off balance. CT, Bournemouth
Tim: Is the hellishness of modern life grinding you down? The constant battle with technology driving you crazy? Ease off the throttle, slow down the maddening pace and simplify.
Jane: Hello CT, loving energy flowing to you, as I promise you are not alone in feeling like this. You know how we mentally beat ourselves up when we feel sick and need to stop? This is like that, my lovely. You need time to rest, nurture yourself and absorb the massive changes we have all been through. Suddenly, we faced an unknown fear and the daily routines and lives that we knew were thrown up in the air. Everything was uncertain and there is still a large element of that going on. Change is tricky to handle, so add uncertainty and fear into the mix and well, that’s a cocktail that will leave anyone feeling overwhelmed. Gift yourself the time to feel how you feel, acknowledge the feelings, and give yourself as much time as you can to rest, ease back and do the things that help you to feel like you. Gratitude has been thrown at us as the panacea for all that ails us in modern life, and this can make us feel guilty! You have been through a massive life change, my lovely, and it will take time to find your balance. You will also be feeling weary from the clocks going back an hour and it takes time for our body clocks to readjust. Experiment till you find the simple pleasures and rest. Indulge in lots of rest. Hugs, X
Please feel free to send your questions to firstname.lastname@example.org and we wish you all a lovely week to come.
Tim & Jane. X